Breakups are rarely clean. Whether it’s a slow fade, a sudden rupture, or the kind of situationship that never had a label, letting go is messy. And in the age of constant digital connection, moving on can feel nearly impossible when your ex is just a scroll away. That’s where the “no contact” rule comes in — a strategy that’s gained traction for its bold simplicity: cut off all communication, cold turkey.
But is it really the best way to heal?
🚫 What Is “No Contact,” Really?
The no contact rule is exactly what it sounds like — no texts, no calls, no “just checking in,” and definitely no lurking on their social media. According to therapist Elizabeth Marks, LCSW, it’s about removing emotional triggers and reclaiming your energy. That means deleting old photos, unfollowing accounts, and even ditching shared playlists.
“No contact is about consciously shifting your energy onto new goals,” Marks explains. “Instead of clinging to ‘what ifs,’ it’s a decision to focus on you”.
🧠 Why It Works
Experts agree: no contact can be a powerful tool for emotional recovery. It creates space for introspection, helps break unhealthy patterns, and allows you to see the relationship more clearly — without the haze of nostalgia or hope for reconciliation.
Psychologist Mark Travers notes that the rule is especially effective in toxic or manipulative relationships, where boundaries have been repeatedly crossed. In those cases, no contact isn’t just helpful — it’s essential.
🤔 But Is It Always the Right Move?
Not necessarily. While many swear by it, others argue that it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. Some people prefer a “low contact” approach, especially if the breakup was mutual or the relationship was meaningful but simply didn’t work out.
As one Reddit user put it: “If I’ve loved them once, I’ll love them forever. Eventually, I want to be at my ex’s wedding someday”. For some, maintaining a cordial connection — after time and healing — feels more authentic than pretending the person never existed.
💬 The Bottom Line
Going no contact can be incredibly healing — but it’s not the only path forward. The key is intention. Are you cutting ties to protect your peace, or hoping they’ll miss you and come back? If it’s the former, you’re likely on the right track. If it’s the latter, you might just be prolonging the pain.
Ultimately, the best way to move on is the one that honors your emotional needs, sets clear boundaries, and helps you grow. Whether that’s no contact, low contact, or something in between — the goal is the same: healing, clarity, and a future that feels like yours again.
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